Anak Soleh Ummi & Abi

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Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Vent of my Heart

Assalamualaikum w.b.t..

I know this is something I cannot control and perhaps it is a test but I really need to talk (not complain) about this.But seriously,I am too tired for those stuff which keep on hitting my brain.I dont know which one is more tiring.Juggling medicine or having to be burdened with my 20-year-old conflicts.

Exams are not too distance from today or even now. But I totally have no idea why do I feel like my heart arent there for the examinations. Some other thing takes place. Palestine.

Palestina prolongs my sleep latency. Palestina takes my heart with them away from others. Even if I walk on the street, I didnt realize what revolves around me except Palestine. I talked less with my friends and colleagues that made them asked me wether I am okay. I am okay. It probably because my thougt arent with them, which made me ignore. I know its not suppose to be this way because my MEDICINE also is one of my JIHAD battle. I musnt give it up.

My Egyptian friend came to me today when I attended Egyptian's class for examination's briefing. Her name is Asma and I love her for Allah. I shaked her hand with my sincerest Salam over our ukhuwwah. I dont know her too much. But I can feel the bond even I just meet her once in a year.

She then asked me about the flyers of Gaza on my hand, which are distributed for us before. Do I know about what happen to Gaza? I nodded with smile. She tried her best to tell me and my friends (Malaysian) about the Gaza. Her English isnt that well for me to understand. But its not a big deal I guess. Things she wants to inform me about Gaza, are more important.

And for the first time, my tears was easily dropped upon Gaza. She didnt tell too much about Gaza. But my soul is there with Gaza, I felt touched even if I watch the pictures of Israel's crime over Palestinians.

She then asked us, "Do you know about 4 things that Allah will asked everyone during Yaumul Qiyamah?"

"I dont know"

She told us in Arabic. And she tried to translate it for us. The four things Allah will asked are :

  • Umuruhu - your lifetime..what do you do with them for the sake of Allah and for Islam?
  • Syababuhu - your youth..what do you do with them for the sake of Allah and for Islam?
  • Maaluhu - your properties..what do you do with them for the sake of Allah and Islam?
  • Amaluhu - your deed..what do you do with them for the sake of Allah and Islam?

I feel like something with very sharp end stabbing my heart. What did I do with them? If Qiamat comes now, can I answer Him if I dont comply those things I SHOULD do?

I asked her to write the phrase in Arabic over my flyer. So that I can read it and do Muhasabah when needed.

O Allah..lend me Your strength. I know I couldnt do Jihad the way of Muslims in Palestine do. But I beg and plead upon my knee, Allah me the best Mujahadah for this Jihad. I hope I can prepare well for exam and do better in exam.

Dear Palestine, my soul and duaa' are with you..and InsyaAllah will always with you..